Introducing Paul Cattigan

Since the profile configuration only allows a measly 1200 charachters to decribe yourself and that I had written soemthing I thought was a fairly comprehensive (if somewhat biased) description of myself I suppose that I might as well use the expanded version as my firs tblog so that anyone bored enough to read this might know who I am.

I'm a research zoologist/legal anthropologist based in Birkbeck College, University of London, studying the behaviours of chimpanzees, bonobos and orangs - and humans.

I have been HIV+ since 1986 and I am getting ready to celebrate the 23rd birthday of "my" virus next year. Last year I had some poor health and decided to take a break from doing football things and so in order to keep fit I took up Highland dancing - which is just another excuse to wear the kilt, but my recent stroke would appear to have kiboshed this for the moment.

I am physically unable to pass a bookshop.

Although I am 44 years old chronologically mentally at least I don't feel like I think a 44 year old should think like.

What do I like?

Diet Pepsi (coke at a pinch) - Mother, teacher, secret lover!

Wine - sauternes and other sweeties (no - they are not dessert wines you can indulge them on any occassion). German red wines (try some and be surprised the dornfelder grape is a good place to start). Port, Madiera, Malmsey. Champagne.

Beer - dark, treacley, ale.

Spirit - Scotch Whisky (blends! malts are for posers), Trinidadian Rum, German Vodka, English Gin.

Being shaved - hot towels, face massage, turkish tea...its heaven.

Food (eating) - meat (thats why we have the sharp things in our mouths), game, goose, beef, haggis, sausages...meat.

North European is my favourite cuisine but I love trying everything that crosses my plate. Oh and Yorkshire puddings!

Food (making) - meat, bread, and I am a dab hand at pickles and pies.

London - if a man is bored with etc... I have lived in this old whore of a city for over twenty of my adult years and the old darlin' still surprises every day.

Animals - all of them including humans (got some reservations about a particular puff adder which bit me but hey it was my fault).

Tobacco - little kids in Marlboro County pray for my continued existence so that Santa will come. So it kills you...so do most things on this planet...deal with it!

Promiscuity - monogamy is nature's trick to bring up kiddies...so not gay.

Football - playing it, watching it, coaching it - all of human life is there. I have played for the Royal Navy, Birkbeck College and Stonewall FC (thanks for the great times). I have also coached for Stonewall FC and Birkbeck.I support Aston Villa in England, St Pauli and Tennis-Borussia Berlin in Germany and I was born and will die a Celtic fan. Oh and every and any team that is playing against England gets my love for at least 90 minutes.

Berlin - so schon so wunderschon.

Philosophy - the Scottish Enlightenment is still going on.

Books - an unread book is an affront to decency.

Authors include Richard Dawkins, Charles Darwin, Dan Dennet, Kropotkin, David Hume, Thomas Malthus, Frans de Waal, Adam Smith, John Mortimer, Tom Holt, Tolkien, David Eddings, Bernard Cornwall, John le Carre, Ovid, Seutonius, Lindsey Davis, and the god that is Mr Terry Pratchett. Not forgetting Asterix!

HIV - evolution in motion and (personally speaking) the incentive to do what I want in life rather than what I ought to.

British Television - Spooks, Dad's Army, Dr Who, Shameless, Sharpe, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I Claudius, Allo Allo, anything by the god that is Sir David Attenborough.

Films - Die Untergang, James Bond, Lord of the Rings, X Men, St Trinians, Ring of Bright Water.

Music - Beethoven, Mozart, Verdi, John Adams, Strauss (all of them), Wagner, G & S, Kurt Weill, Marlene Dietrich, Eartha Kitt, Meatloaf, REM, KLF, Marc Almond, Kirsty Mccoll, Alison Moyet, Jaques Brel, Dr Hook, Madness, Seadogs, the Specials, the Kinks, Bob Marley, Abba, the Streets, the Pogues, traditional and techno bagpipes and loads more.

Buses - Route Master double deckers...you know they make sense!

Chocolate - non diabetic (yes I know it will kill me but see the entry for baccy).

Politics - Anarchism and rationality are my bag...Kropotkin's Mutual Aid says it all!

People - with something to say and the balls to argue for it.

What don't I like?

Wine - anything described as "dry" "chardonnay" and with some exceptions "new world".

Beer - lager.

Spirits - Tequila, Pernod.

Food - birds eggs (fish eggs on the other hand are grand).

Chocolate - diabetic...just don't go there.

London - not the place but those who always want to knock the old whore.

Animals - people who say they don't like animals without realising that they are one!

Shaving - thats what barbers are for.

Religion - all of them, they are all evil - an athiest is just someone who disbelives one more god than a believer.

Monogamy - if it works for you great but it is NOT a moral choice.

Football - why does there have to be a close season?

Berlin - why is it so far from London?

Philosophy - what do the French know about it (a black jumper is not/never enough).

Books - why have I never got enough money to buy them all?

HIV - after 23 years you would think it would know when is a bad time to play up.

Hepatitis C - my all new infection from 2005. According to the quacks I had about a year left and counting - aaah - all together now "Wheels on fire..."

American Television - it started with Bilko and went down from there (except for the Simpsons which I suspect must be British and Buffy (for the gift of Spike).

Music - not so much music as ipod...bitch invention from hell.

Politics - fluffy does not make things better...ever!

People - who just can't live and let live.

Thats a sample of things I like and dislike (WARNING its not comprehensive and its likely that some things will change on an almost daily basis).

I have career phobia!

When I was 16 I joined the Royal Navy and by the time I was 18 I was fighting in a war on a ship that was about to be sunk (taking my boyfriend with it).

When I was 22 I was told that I had HTLV III (soon to be sexily rebranded as HIV).

Told I was going to die...didn't die!

I was kindly asked to leave the navy but the nice admirals paid me to go to uni instead.
One history degree (and an abiding love of medieval German history) later I was again told that I was going to die soon from AIDS.

Still didn't die!

In the abscence of dying had to get off my arse and do something so read a law degree with the aim of becoming a rich barrister.

Didn't get rich!

Got hooked by Mr Darwin's big idea so did zoology with the aim of studying snakes. Discovered primates and forgot snakes (they got their own back when the 39 year old me got bitten by a puff adder). Primates are a great excuse for sitting around in zoos or in the field in Africa or Asia avoiding a career!

Now researching the evolution of law like behaviours in human and non human primates (mainly chimps but also humans, bonobos and orangs with the occassional baboon for variety).

In between times (sometimes at the same time) I have been , variously:

a not very civil servant (come to think of it I wasn't very servile either);

a president of a Students' Union;

a political assistant to an (old, very old both in age and views) Labour MP;

a football coach (as a glutton for punishment I have helped to found two football clubs 13 years apart).

At 41 I realise that for some people I am a failure because I don't have a "career" but then I have had a tremendous amount of fun and acquired all sorts of skills in avoiding one!

So I suppose that as a dab hand with an anchor, an ability to bore to death with details of the Hanseatic League or what Clause 4 was really all about whilst teaching a chimp to play in goal my "skill suite" is sufficiently eclectic to stop me from acquiring a career!

Which is just how I like it.

Got a few degrees at different levels to put after my name but the qualifications of which I am proudest is my City & Guilds in Underwater Welding and RSA Shorthand (neither of which I could probably do now).